That's exactly what happened to me.
Five years ago, I was drunk and fell asleep at the wheel. I'm not trying
to make excuses.
But I never ever would have done such a thing on purpose. And if there were
some way I could go back and change it, I would.
In fact, I've been sober ever since.
Now I'm paying for my crime by being incarcerated two weeks a year
for the next 10 years.
This blog follows my journey afterward, trying to put my life back together
in between spending a week in jail at Christmas and at Father's Day each year.
...
Some five years after the accident, blessings surround me.
I am so grateful for my life, in recovery, for the love I am consistently shown, for
becoming a person who can hold her head high and who can be proud again.
I have worked so hard to right the wrongs, to forgive myself, to educate others.
...
A court hearing this summer nearly broke my spirit. I had asked to have
my jail time suspended, for unsupervised probation and to get my license
reinstated. The judge granted the latter; and it was clear to me that in some
people's eyes I would always be a drunk in a blackout, who ran a man down
and kept going.
The truth is that I did that terrible thing, but I haven't been that woman in a long,
long time. I have stood before countless groups of high schoolers, would-be
alcohol and drug counselors and even mothers who lost their children because
of drugs and alcohol.
I have owned this tragedy from the get-go and consistently for years. Although
some may never forgive me, I will not let that break me. I will not stop trying to
be a better person, and in so doing, become better able to help another alcoholic
and my fellow man.
...
Today, I sponsor women, to teach them how the steps and more importantly
having a relationship with a higher power can help you stay sober, one day at
a time.
On the anniversary of the accident this year, I shared my story with incarcerated
women in Sumner County. Many identified. Some came up and thanked me for
inspiring them to start over, to learn from their mistakes and not to let their pasts
define them.
I nearly always share in meetings, to encourage people in recovery, to provide
support and hope. I have a sponsor, and I stay in touch. I feel grateful to be
someone who is considered one of the people who walk the walk in recovery.
...
I have always felt love and acceptance in recovery. No one made me feel
like I was different, or that I was beyond help because I had a drunk driving
accident that killed someone.
My sponsor, sponsees, role models in recovery and friends have helped me
and loved me just like a family would.
In fact, it was in a meeting where I found the love of my life.
...
I met him one evening at a clubhouse. He listened as I shared. I paid attention
when he shared too; and was instantly attracted to everything about him.
We kept seeing each other at the same meetings.
At one in particular, we sat directly across from one another, for weeks and then
months.
Under a flickering, fluorescent light, I fell in love with the beautiful boy across
the table.
...
It took a few months for us to get together .
First, it was because he was dating other people. And then one day, he was gone.
I tried to move on, to get over the connection and attraction. Nearly three months
passed, before I began dating someone else briefly.
...
When he came back into my life, it was so clear to me it, whatever
it was, was still there.
When he made amends, my heart opened back up to him. Within days,
we were together for real and in love.
More than seven months have passed, and we're still together. I've
never been happier, more in love and at peace.
...
In 2012, I broke up with my boyfriend of 12 years. Two months later,
he died. I thought I'd never be happy again.
Still, I trudged on, and stayed sober.
Nearly two years later, my angel kissed me for the first time. He is
an amazing, role model in recovery and the best man I've ever been
privileged enough to love.
...
It's a good life. I can sleep tonight knowing I do my best; I am sober;
and my Mike loves me.
And for that, I am truly thankful.
...
katrina at 8:08 PM
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katrina
I am an award-winning writer with a new mission: to educate people about the consequences of drinking an driving.
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