Speech at Portland High School

One Woman's Journey After Vehicular Homicide


Imagine going to sleep, waking up and finding out you killed somebody. 
That's exactly what happened to me. 
Two years ago, I was drunk and fell asleep at the wheel. I'm not trying to make excuses.
But I never ever would have done such a thing on purpose. And if there were 
some way I could go back and change it, I would. 
In fact, I've been sober ever since.
Now I'm paying for my crime by being incarcerated two weeks a year for the 
next 10 years.
This blog follows my journey afterward, trying to put my life back together in 
between spending a week in jail at Christmas and at Father's Day each year.

I spoke to four blocks of classes at Portland High School today about causing the drunk-driving accident Oct. 22, 2009 that resulted in Eddy McCreery's death.
It's never an easy experience for me. None of this is. Not living this life, admitting my fatal mistake, dealing with the painful consequences for my family and for the McCreery family.
But I do this, partly, yes, because I am court-ordered to speak on Feb. 10 and Oct. 22, McCreery's birthday and the day he died.
But mostly I speak because of the MESSAGE these speaking engagements involve: Don't drink and drive under any circumstances.
I'm not there to make friends or enemies for that matter. I'm not there to try to duck any kind of responsibility I feel for the crime. I'm not there to make the students feel sorry for me.
My calling is to make them think about what can happen and what did happen to me if you drink and drive.
That's the only reason.
I have about 60 responses of feedback from the kids. Most of it was positive. There was a handful that was negative. For some reason, those comments always stick with me more. Call it the devil in the details.
Some didn't like that I used notes to speak. Others thought I didn't show enough emotion or have enough eye contact. One even accused me of exploiting the family's pain.
A teacher not mentioned in this blog even went as far as to say it didn't seem like I was accepting responsibility, and implied my speeches might mistakenly make the kids feel sorry for me. He was conversely complimentary in the same speech, and even applauded me. Needless to say, I was confused.
I can't please everybody, and I'm not going to try.
What I am going to do is keep on knocking on doors at local school districts and asking if they will let me in, give me a venue, a way to reach these kids.
I am hoping the story WSMV-TV Channel 4 aired today will help me in that quest.
It was the first time in my life I have been on the other end of an interview, but I think I did OK. I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be.
Again, it's about the message. It's about making Eddy McCreery's death mean something, keeping his memory alive, turning a negative event into a positive, one day at a time.
Thank you Portland High School, especially Mr. Gideon, Mrs. McNeil and Mrs. Griffin for opening your doors to me and giving me a way to hopefully impact these students' lives in such a way that if they are ever in the position to make a decision whether to drink and drive or to ride with someone who has indulged in alcohol or drugs, that they will make the right decision.
I want to especially thank Jeremy Johnson and Nancy Morris, of Sumner County Schools, for their roles in facilitating the speeches today.
And thank you momma, Vicky C. and Jennifer Easton for being there to support me in an endeavor that is always tough, but always worth it.
Mom: your support never ceases to amaze me. Vicky: you have shown me love in so many ways. Know that I am here for you, too. You are my family.
Jennifer, thank you for being there, too. Your presence was like a bridge between the past and the present, reminding me of the journalist I used to be, in my dream job, and of the friendships I still have at The Gallatin News Examiner. I miss you, Dessie, and you, too, Sarah, and hope we can see each other again really soon.
Finally, this day would be incomplete without the following thank you.
Thank you, Eddy McCreery, for giving my life purpose, for my sobriety, and for keeping me humble, one day at a time.